When the Past Shapes the Present: Trauma and the Journey into Motherhood
Written by Guest Blogger Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, PMH-C and Co-Author Liz Gray, LCSW, RPT, Maternal Trauma Support Co-Founder
Motherhood is one of the most significant changes that a person goes through. For women who have experienced past trauma, this transition can feel heavy. Trauma, whether from childhood abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, or other painful experiences, doesn’t simply disappear when you have a baby. In fact, it can show up in unexpected ways, especially during the vulnerable postpartum period. Past trauma can impact the way that a person feels, thinks, and connects with their children. Understanding this connection is the first step toward getting the right kind of help.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma is what happens when a person goes through an event, or series of events, that are deeply scary or painful. These events overwhelm a person’s ability to cope with them. Common causes include experiencing abuse, neglect, the loss of a loved one, accidents or witnessing violence in any form.
Trauma has very real effects on the brain. It impacts the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system for detecting threats), the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and focus), and the hippocampus the part of the brain involved in the formation of memories). Trauma can actually cause changes to the structure of the brain, weaken communication between different parts of the brain, and trigger the "survival response,” also known as fight-flight-freeze mode, even when an actual threat isn’t present.
The effects of trauma can present both short and long-term. People who have experienced traumatic events might feel constantly on edge, disconnected from their emotions, or have difficulty trusting others. These effects don’t always show up right away, and can last for years if left untreated.
How Trauma Affects New Mothers
Pregnancy and early parenthood can bring up strong feelings and memories from the past. Trauma survivors might find that old fears and pain are triggered. For example, a person who has survived abuse may struggle with feeling out of control during childbirth, which can in turn contribute to the birth feeling traumatic.
A survivor shares, “even after years of therapy, many of my previous trauma symptoms resurfaced during infertility, childbirth, and a very challenging 4th trimester. My brain and body were sometimes at battle, where I cognitively knew I was safe, but my body was reacting to current threats that were activated by past events.”
Research shows that childhood trauma is a risk factor for postpartum depression and other perinatal mental health conditions. Trauma survivors may also find it difficult to bond with their newborn. This isn’t because they don’t love their child. It is because trauma can make it harder to be vulnerable and present. A mother who has survived trauma might feel numb, overwhelmed, or disconnected without fully understanding why.
In some instances, caring for a newborn can activate a trauma response. For example, hearing your newborn’s cries and being unable to soothe them can trigger the survival response. You might find yourself feeling urges to scream, flee, or go completely numb.
The Impact on the Mother-Child Relationship
The bond between a mother and child, also known as attachment, is one of the most important relationships in a child’s life. When a mother is struggling with past trauma, it can be difficult to build that bond.
This does not mean that the bond can’t develop. With the right support, mothers can heal from past trauma and build strong, loving relationships with their children. The key is recognizing that you need more support and seeking help.
This also does not mean that trauma automatically causes harm to children. With the right support, you can heal and build a strong, loving relationship with your children. The key is recognizing the problem and reaching out for help.
Liz, a first time mom with a history of sexual trauma, chose a midwife rather than an OB-GYN for her prenatal care and delivery. Unfortunately, she had to be transferred via ambulance from a birthing center to a local hospital after her son’s heart rate dropped during a contraction. She was suddenly in a new location, with a new doctor and birth plan that she hadn’t prepared for. A 57-hour labor ended in an unplanned c-section. Difficulties breastfeeding her newborn and severe sleep deprivation contributed to her diagnosis of Postpartum Depression soon after her son was born. Liz found herself terrified that the difficulty connecting to her son in the first few weeks and months would negatively impact him the rest of his life. Looking back, now that her son is 2 years old, she wishes she could tell her newly postpartum self, “You went through a LOT. You’re doing the best you can. You are the best mom for your baby, and he’s so lucky to have you. You’re going to be okay. He’s going to be okay. Your attachment is there- it’s just going to take a little more time to develop, and that’s okay.”
What Is Trauma-Informed Care?
Trauma-informed care is an approach to medical and mental health treatment used by doctors, nurses, and therapists that takes into account a person’s history when providing care. A trauma-informed provider takes a step back and evaluates you in the context of your experiences, not just your symptoms. This simple shift changes everything.
Trauma-informed care focuses on safety, trust, and empowerment. It’s about creating an environment where you feel respected and heard. It looks like explaining medical procedures, giving choices when possible, and avoiding interventions that are controlling or dis-empowering for the patient. For a person with a history of trauma, these simple acts make a significant difference.
Why Early Support Matters
The period after birth, called the “fourth trimester,” is a critical time for mother and baby.Getting trauma-informed support during this time supports a mother’s long-term health and mother-child bond. Therapeutic approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), cognitive processing therapy (CPT), and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can help trauma survivors process their past experiences and build healthier coping skills.
Community support also plays a huge role. Peer support groups for new mothers, home visiting programs, supportive partners and family members, and connections with doulas and lactation consultants can help a mother feel less alone. Healing cannot be done in isolation.
Moving Forward with Compassion
A history of trauma does not make a person a bad mother.
It makes them a person who has survived painful circumstances and deserves real support. By building a healthcare system that sees and honors the whole person, as well as their background, we give new mothers a chance to heal, thrive, and raise healthy, happy children. This is exactly why the Trauma-Informed Maternal Health Directory exists to connect mothers with trauma-informed providers.
Trauma-informed care is a form of kindness that every new mother deserves.
References:
Bremner J. D. (2006). Traumatic stress: Effects on the brain. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 8(4), 445–461.
Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (US). Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2014. (Treatment Improvement Protocol (TIP) Series, No. 57.) Chapter 1, Trauma-Informed Care: A Sociocultural Perspective.
Júnior, E. B. C., Alves, L. F., Andrade, A. C., Marrara, J. R., de Fátima Fernandes, M. N., Hu, J., & da Silva Gherardi-Donato, E. C. (2025). The influence of childhood trauma on postpartum depression: A prospective cohort study. Archives of Psychiatric Nursing, 56, 151892.
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Guest Author: Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, PMH-C
Dr. Emily Guarnotta is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified perinatal mental health provider. She owns Phoenix Health, a therapy practice that supports anyone experiencing infertility, pregnancy loss, and perinatal mental health concerns.
Website: https://joinphoenixhealth.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_phoenix_health/
Directory Listing:https://directory.maternaltraumasupport.com/search/phoenix-health.html
Co-Author: Liz Gray, LCSW, RPT
Liz Gray, LCSW, RPT is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified EMDR therapist, trauma survivor, & infertility warrior. During her infertility journey, Liz experienced medical retraumatization at the hands of insensitive and negligent providers during IUI and IVF treatment. These experiences fueled the fire for her to provide trauma-informed trainings, offer expert consultations, and create the nationwide Trauma-Informed Maternal Health Directory.
About the Trauma-Informed Maternal Health Directory
Liz Gray, LCSW and Olivia Verhulst, LMHC, PMH-C— co-founders of the Trauma-Informed Maternal Health Directory— are clinical psychotherapists with a deep passion for increasing accessibility of trauma-informed care to the maternal health population.
They created this specialized directory to connect women & birthing people to trauma-informed health & mental health providers who specialize in infertility, pregnancy, postpartum, and new parenthood.
Search the directory: https://directory.maternaltraumasupport.com/
Interested in writing a guest blog post?
If you are a trauma-informed provider who works with the perinatal population, submit a blog proposal HERE!
Please make sure the article is original content that aligns with our values of safety, inclusion, transparency, collaboration, empowerment, and support.
Trauma doesn’t suddenly disappear when you become a mother. For survivors of abuse, violence, or other painful experiences, the fourth trimester can activate old wounds in ways that might impact bonding, mental health, and everyday functioning. The good news is that with trauma-informed care and the right support, healing is possible and within reach.